.: asylum for the sane :.

This was drafted in August 2009, but never got published. And because I have nothing to blog about today, and I am in the worst of moods, it shall be posted. Most rants still do apply in present day.

Why do some people confidently flaunt their talents when in true honesty, they have none?

Why do irritating people keep popping up like mushrooms? Just that when mushrooms pop all over the place, it’s a pretty sight.

How come some people like to celebrate and brag about every little achievement as if it’s a big achievement? Don’t they know the meaning of humility?

If we were to call a spade a spade, a lot of people in this world are just over-glorified nobodies but act as if they own the world.

Why do we always feel less burdened and lighter after a haircut?

Money is the fucking root of all evil. Men are usually at the tip of it.

Resentment breeds contempt.

Why do some people who are mere cowards in actual fact try to assert their power and position over people who are stupid enough to be scared of them?

But then again, when being answered back to, or argued against – they shy away.

Why are there increasingly less and less chivalrous men in Singapore? Grabbing the only empty seat on the bus when there are ladies standing is so.. so.. appalling.

Why is everybody getting engaged, getting married and having babies?

I never felt the need to impress anybody. So of course it irritates me to see other people ass-licking. To do just about anything to impress so-called important people. Whatever man.

This shouldn’t even be a blog post because what happened to my Oakleys shouldn’t have happened.

But it did and there was nothing I can do about it. So let me tell you exactly what happened.

I was chewing gum, bored in the middle of a long road trip to Kuala Lumpur. Chewed on the gum till there was no taste so I asked FP for a tissue paper for me to throw the gum away. (this was despite me having tissue in the back and in the pockets of the the right passenger door, but when things are meant to happened, they just will.)

He told me to just spit it out the window, because that was what he did anyway.

(no, i don’t normally spit out the window, which was precisely why I asked for a tissue paper!)

So okay, I did spit out. But because I am an inexperienced spitter, the gum seem to have gone in a weird direction. So in order to ensure it didn’t get stuck to the car, I popped my head out the window.

Silly, silly girl.

My shades were on top of my head. No, actually I was wearing my Paul Frank hoodie (complete with monkey ears) with the hood on, and my shades were placed right on top of it, on my head.

Don’t ask me why I was dressed up like that. I don’t know.

But, as soon as I popped my head out the window, I saw something white flying away from it. It was purplish too. It took me two seconds to realised what just happened. And I suddenly went, “MY SHADES. IT FLEW OUT!”

It stunned everybody in the car but we were getting further and further away from my shades that was getting more and more crushed as we went along. There were too many fast moving cars. It was on the freaking highway. There was NOTHING we could have done. Even if I were to get out, I would have gotten myself killed or injured and still the shades would have been just shattered plastic.

And when the reality of things dawned on me (took another 5 seconds), I just started crying nonstop. I hate to lose my things. I get annoyed even when my things do not work or look like they should. I have an unexplainable emotional binding with all my things. Perhaps the cause of being an only child.

When you are an only child, you become emotionally attached to the things around you. And that was exactly what happened to me.

This pair of Oakleys has so much meaning.

1) It was a gift from FP at the end of 2008
2) It is a limited edition pair.
3) Quirky in purple and white
4) I love it.

This should be a lesson to me not to be so emotionally attached to me. FP tried and tried again to console me in the car. But the tears wont stop, and when it did, I was silent for the rest of the trip.

A round of shopping afterward cheered me up a little but FP wasn’t fooled.

Later that night, FP consoled me again. Again tears came. He told me it is just a “thing” and it’s not important. He told me that things happen for a reason and that he understood what I was feeling. He understood my emotional bind to my belongings, and how I love all my things.

He would get another pair for me. But I told him that it’s not about getting another pair at all. And he said he knows. He gently told me not to think about it anymore, repeating that it is just a “thing” which could be bought again. All I could see was the shades flying away from me. That image remains in my head.

But as heartbreaking as this whole situation is, there was really nothing we could have done. Perhaps things do happen for a reason. Perhaps I was meant to lose it. But hey, it was fun while it lasted.

Later on today, I will be making my third trip down to Jakarta.

While I truly look forward to flying from Changi Airport Terminal 3 for the first time, (don’t you know, I am Changi Airport’s biggest fan?), I feel sad about leaving this time.

It is the fasting month after all. Whatever it is, emotions will be raw.

It has so far been a fasting month of many firsts this year. I’ve been alone for most of the fasting month. I broke fast all by myself for the first time ever and it wasn’t a heartwarming feeling. This morning, I had my sahur all alone while watching Disney Channel. It was my first time having sahur in solitude.

Really sad stuff when you think about it.

And now this. I’ve never had to fast while traveling. That said, I have never been away during the fasting month. When you think of my solitude this Ramadhan, this going away certainly pushes my isolation to the next level. No doubt that this will add on to the experiences that will make me stronger but it’s also something that will push me out of my comfort zone entirely.

Of course sahur will be provided by the hotel – an experience that I am actually quite looking forward to try out because I’ve never heard of such a service, very interesting indeed.

Also how can I forget I actually have some special people (hello, girls!) who look forward to seeing me. It’s a nice feeling to be wanted, hehe. That is of course beside the fact that I have people to interview, people to review and projects to discuss. So in actual fact, I won’t really be alone all that much.

So I should be okay right?

I should just take this experience with a grain of salt and an open mind. I survived Banda Aceh at Hari Raya. I can do this.

So I’ll blog when I get back, hopefully with nice photos.

xoxo.

The morning begin on quite a sour note as I got reminded once again that there are always mean, selfish people around despite the fact that I do try to make the world a colourful and happy one.

So there I was, having my hands full as usual – bag over shoulders, jacket slung over arm, heavy paperbag that has food for breakfast, lunch and possibly healthy snacking time in hand, and oh my Fossil pouch that has my ez link card on the other hand.

So while walking to the bus stop (funny how all my stories start with my walk to the bus stop), I decided that I want my itouch to accompany me on my walk. I dug into my bag for the black pouch that held my darling gadget. Stuck the earphones into my ear and got lost in my own happy place on the way to the bus stop.

When I reached the bus stop, I wanted to put the itouch back into its pouch but alas it wasn’t there! Half my mind thought I could have left the pouch on my bed but the other half argued that I could never had left the itouch in my bag without any protection from being potentially scratched.

A small part of me thought I dropped it along the way without realising because I was carrying way too many things. But another part of me dismissed the idea.

I wanted to track back my path but was afraid to miss my bus. But at the same time I was feeling so uneasy, because I simply hate it when my things go missing.

But I just waited for the bus even though my mind was all over the place thinking of all the possibilities. Soon enough, my bus came and I decided to keep an eye on the path I took as the bus whizzed by.

To my absolute horror, I spotted my black pouch on the pavement! Hurriedly, I called my mum and ask her to go out and get it for me before someone else does. No way was I going to lose my lovely black pouch that I got from by trip to the states!

Of course I got a earful from my mum. Duh.

Two minutes later she called me to tell me she got it and asked me what was inside.

I told her that there were two red packets inside and a rubber casing for the itouch that FP got for me though I didn’t get around to using it.

She told me that the pouch was Completely Empty when she found it!! I was in disbelief as I can’t imagine anyone doing that in such a short amount of time!

It got me really upset because those two red packets were from FP’s mum and grandma, and I wasn’t even intending to spend them. I place it in that pouch since the day I got them because just like my itouch, they are like little sentimental treasures. It’s not the amount that I care about. It’s the story behind them. Chinese New Year was really special this year for FP and me

How could anyone just take things what was obviously personal property? I was horribly pissed off.

Someone must have seen me dropping my pouch and instead of going after me and returning it, they took all the contents as well! Even a casing to an itouch that they might not even have!

What’s become of you, Singapore?

My mum told me not to put any money randomly anymore, no matter what silly reason I have. She looked almost as upset as I felt when I told her who gave me the red packets. She understood. And she told me, that perhaps the money was not meant to be mine and told me not to think about it anymore.

Well if it’s not meant to be, it’s really not meant to be. I didn’t even want to spend them away. But I guess someone else needs them more, despite the anger I felt.

P/s: this entire post was typed painstakingly on my precious itouch.

I was pretty moody for most of today, for reasons I do not want to define.

So it was a really nice when FP smsed me saying that he got something for me. Because I love surprises (and he knows it), I didn’t press him further when he didn’t want to tell me what it was.

For the rest of the day, I continued being a Professional Grouch, having little patience in almost everyone I spoke to. I felt like everyone was trying to test my limits today, which may not be the case because everything seems exaggerated x infinity + 1 at certain times of the month.

It’s not like I can help it. If I could do away being the female incarnation of a typhoon and an earthquake plus an avalanche, I would. It’s not like it’s fun, you know? I can be so out of character when the syndrome strikes and that can be a really bad thing

When I got the gift later on, it really cheered me up. It made me smile and laugh, which was a nice change from the venomous witch I felt like for most of the day. He gave this to me!!

Little Miss Whoops. How apt, since I’m forever hurting myself. If not tripping over practically nothing, it’s getting my tongue and/or mouth burned just by attempts to eat a meal. I really like this gift

It’s actually a sticker to be pasted on ezlink cards. But being the stubborn cow, I refuse to customise my ezlink card and decide to keep the sticker just as a card!

FP and I went for a little prop/costume hunt today for our shoot for Week 4. Didn’t get everything that we wanted to get, though I really love the one thing we managed to find today (no not the vampire teeth, unfotunately )

I’m pretty excited about this week’s shoot, can hardly wait for the weekend to be here!