What would you do if you have 3 more years to live?

It’s not a well-known fact, but I’ve always had a feeling I am not going to live past age 30. I can’t explain it, it’s just a weird feeling.

I don’t even know if it’s going to be a reality so I go about my daily life normally, but it is always at the back of my mind. Then once in awhile, a huge thought will land on me asking me, “What if all you have are your 20′s? Have you accomplished enough? Have you done all you wanted to do?”

To which my answer would be NO. I haven’t accomplished anything really, and I am certainly not doing the things I want to do and love to do. Not all anyway. Sometimes when this fear creeps up on me, I’d be so scared that I’ll just vanish one day, leaving nothing behind. Not a memory, not a legacy and no trail of thought.

Which is why I force myself to blog, as a means of documenting my life. In a way, this is killing two birds with one stone. I love blogging and writing, and I haven’t had much time for it, especially in the past 2 and a half years – what with my crazy workload. But I’m going to start now.

My challenge for August would be to blog every single day. No matter how short or silly the post is, I will post up something.

And to answer the question posed in the title for this blog post, here are the things I’d like to do / have been meaning to do / have missed doing:

1) Observe & Learn
observe

I’d like to sit down somewhere and just people watch. Not just normal people watching but analyze relationships between families, couples and write down my observations. I’ve done this before but without the writing part. Damn what am i carrying a notebook and pen in my bag all the time then?

It’s really interesting sometimes what comes out from observing people. It’s like analyzing a literature novel live. It’s like taking a step back and just seeing the world from a detached point of view.

2) Reading
books

I’d like to read everything that I can get hold of. I’ve picked up my reading speed again this past few months. It just feels good getting lost in the world of books, in this age of technology and fluff.

I’ve noticed that as I grow older, my choice of books have evolved as well. My taste in books have grown more mature. I tend to read modern classics now, with the occasional chick-lit novels. I’m not being pretentious here, but it’s just an observation, since I’ve been reading all my life.

There are some things I’d like to re-read and that includes Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen, the entire Harry Potter series as well as the.. Twilight Series. And oh, if I could just finish reading Emma by Jane Austen and Alice in Wonderland for just once in this lifetime!

3) Travelling
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I’d like to travel the world, visit exotic places, have new experiences across the oceans. It’s sad to say I haven’t travelled all that much at my age, when I’m such a huge lover of culture, food and heritage. There’s so much to explore in this world. FP and I have planned to set aside time to travel. We’d probably take one trip at year end, or early next year – and then a short trip quarterly. And I’ll blog about the trips and possibly make travel scrapbooks! What’s not to love?

Some places that I’d like to visit:

- Japan: to have REAL sushi, lol and to see the cherry blossoms!
- China: life long dream, to see the great wall of china and the terracotta soldiers
- Australia: just because.
- Europe: So many places in Europe itself!
- New Zealand: New spot for the honeymoon (move over, Rome!)
- Disneyland again
- Some parts of USA
- Certain Indonesian spots such as: Bali, Bintan, Bandung, Puncak
- Some parts of Malaysia: I’d love to travel to Malaysia by train again!

4) Crafts
craft

Doing crafts, just for fun or selling them. I really miss this. It is a good feeling to create something completely by hand and having someone pay for it. I wonder what would it have been if I carried on with my ribbon roses business. I had huge plans for it when I was younger, but I knew that I had to get proper work experience first before I can build up the craft business. Perhaps the time is now?

If you’ve noticed, I love trying out new crafts on my own. Never going for proper classes but just meddling and self learning. Such as making felt food, then felt dolls. Even the art of making ribbon roses was self-attained.

My latest interest would have to be clay miniatures, which I haven’t tried yet but already know where to stock up on the books and materials ;)

Perhaps, I should just go ahead and take up classes to enhance my unpolished knowledge and then do something with it.

5) Writing
writing

I really love to write, and it is such a shame that I haven’t even written a short story up till now, even though that’s all I’ve been wanting to do since I was a teenager. I’ve even stopped writing poems. The only writing I do these days is the occassional blog post (which is going to be a daily blog post) and that doesn’t really sum up as writing.

I think it would be a dream to be a columnist somewhere, but where I always lose out when it comes to writing jobs is that I do not have any writing samples! Blog posts are never a reference that employers would want to refer to so, I’m practically screwed because I’ve wasted the past 10 years not writing anything that can be useful right now.

So, I’m going to build the momentum up, starting with blogging daily, and slowly but surely I’ll go back to writing stories (haven’t done this since I was a child) and perhaps composing poems.

6) Baking & Cooking
baking

Baking was something I took great interest in sometime last year and I haven’t touched it since. Not because I am not interested in in anymore, but I simply do not have the time. But baking is certainly something I’d like to go back to. I have not perfected making cupcakes and decorating them!

So I should go and take up proper baking classes!

And cooking is something I’ve been wanting to try out but haven’t done anything about it. But I really should.

7) Keeping Fit & Taking Care of Myself
fit

I’ve not been really happy with my body for the past year. Yes to the naked eye, I’m still thin, small and weightless. But I know myself and I know that my figure now is not what it used to be, and I really don’t like it.

I need to lose all this weight and get back to what I used to be. And to do that, I’d have to keep fit and start running and exercising. Eating right is no problem, I have great self control. It’s just the exercise part I’m worried about, I’m not exactly sport spice you know? Just waiting for FP to get all better so we can start our exercise regime together!

Don’t get me started on the taking care of myself part. I say this to myself every year; and every year I find myself not being taken care of! Tsk.

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As you can see, I’m a simple girl with simple wishes for this life time. I don’t wish for wealth or LV bags. If I manage to fulfill some of these and I don’t get to live past 30, I’d be happy already. What would you do if you had 3 years more to live?

2009, a reflection (Part 1)

I feel exhausted. It’s as if the accumulated exhaustion of this entire year has decided to ambush me at year end.

2009 has been a very long year to say the least.

Health

I’ve been a complete klutz this year. Awfully accident prone and oftenly sick. Who could forget my week long MC as I lay in bed thinking I was gonna die from food poisoning? Drama Queen, that I am :P

Or the time that I sprained both ankles (which led to both entire legs hurting so much) just because I took a wrong landing as I jumped over a ditch? And I came back from the hospital with both legs bandaged? Haha :)

bandaged legs

or what about the time I sprained my hand and arm from slamming a door really hard?

hospital gown

Yes a cam whore never misses a chance to cam whore. Even if it means taking the photo with her sprained hand. Tsk.

I think this year I took more MCs than I would annual leaves haha. Let’s hope for better health next year then. Maybe I shouldn’t mention here that I’ve been having chest pains. But oh well, I just did. Shh.

Career

desk at work

I worked so damn hard this year. Looking back on my accomplishments at work this year, I feel a tinge of pride. It’s truly a lot of work to have come thus far. I’ve learnt so many things, gotten to know so many new people, people come people go.

My teams in Jakarta grew by leaps and bounds and suddenly I have 2 incredibly big, capable and talented teams there that I can rely at any given time or day. And these two teams practically make two out of many firm foundations of the site. :P

And for the first time, I’ve started growing a team in Singapore too. Incredible. Even though it is something very new (less than a month), it has been incredibly exciting and fun to have my own team here. :)

More powers indeed come with extra responsibilities, as I’ve learned this year.

Of course with success come haters, which I totally do not give a shit about. 2009 has been an amazing year at work, despite the fact that I came close to giving up completely once or twice. I really am glad I didn’t. Here’s to another long, exciting and rewarding work year in 2010!

Personal Achievements

This is where I wish I can that I’ve learned how to ride a bicycle, or completed a marathon or won awards. But I didn’t achieve any of that. But what I did achieve (on a personal basis) are:

1) I finally got a domain. Thank you Toni, Nico and Indra for helping with the set up. and thank you FP for teaching me how to change my own theme, lol. Yes I work for a website but I can still be a tech-idiot at times.

2) I survived an earthquake. Even though I couldnt sleep for 2 weeks after that.

earthquake evacuation

3) I learned how to bake! First for FP’s birthday cake (hehehe) and then for my own pleasure. Which reminds me, I haven’t baked in months!

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4) I survived levels 3 and 4 of crazy spicy buffalo wings, despite sweat, tears and crazy internal heat. and the runs.

level-3-wings

Part II still in the works. Be patient!

Pretty Fun Cupcakes

Like I’ve mentioned in several blog posts ago, I have been dabbling in baking for the past month.

However, nothing ever seemed to work out to perfection (unlike FP’s birthday cake), in taste and aesthetics so I’ve never flaunted any of those experiments anywhere.

Today, I tried baking cupcakes again. I had a vague idea of how I wanted them to look like. And as you might know, decorating a cupcake is the best part of making cupcakes. The last time I tried to bake and decorate cupcakes, it was with icing that came in a tube – and that turned out pretty ugly though the taste was not too shabby.

I wanted to make those cupcakes that look so very pretty with icings and props but I guess I’m not at that level yet. I haven’t figured out how to make gorgeous decor like that so I thought of alternatives.

So, I decided on melted baking chocolate with rainbow sprinkles. Simple, yes – but the combination still make up a pretty picture. :)

So here it is, a photo of my simple yet nice-looking cupcakes. It taste better than my previous attempt because I didn’t over heat it this time round.

dsc04431

Me loves!! :P

By the way, the recipe for the fairy cake (which is essentially the cupcake without any decor) was taken from Nigella Lawson’s How to be a Domesticated Goddess. I’ve always referred to her book and then improvise with my own ideas :)

Now my next aim is to make cupcakes with lovely icing that will definitely stretch my creativity to infinity and beyond!

April 2009 – Revisited

Finally, the most tiring month ever has come to an end. In fact, this week proved to be the most exhausting week in April and that is saying alot considering how stressful the entire month has been :(

So let’s go through what went on in April, in a nutshell:

- I started taking a keen interest in baking. Was pushed into baking a birthday cake for FP after some unreliable sources let me down. The cake turned out really nice, with strong hints of my habit of personalizing everything. Since then, I have been baking on a weekly basis – experimenting and learning at the same time.

The fruits of my labour are not yet picture perfect but it’s getting there :) I have tried baking cupcakes, muffins, fairy cakes and brownies so far. I hope I can improve in due time so that I can practice my other passion, food photography.

- Photoshoots for 50 Weeks of Her were quite futile this month. We missed out 2 weeks of shoots while the other two weeks were engulfed with stumped ideas and concepts. But oh well, we’ll try harder in the month of May.

- We went to watch Cats the Musical! It’s my first musical in years (the last time was about three years back?) It was an okay experience but could have been better, much better. Better seats, next time!

- I got sucked into the world of Sookie Stackhouse (funny how some of the characters sound like they are calling her Sucky) of the True Blood series. Bill Compton makes Edward Cullen look like a boy, and that’s saying alot. I am halfway through the first season and rest assured, I will blog about it. Hehehe. Bill Compton brings broody and intense to a whole new level. Me likey lots lots :D

true-blood

- Speaking of vampires, I finally finished reading the Twilight series. I did a really long review/spoiler of it so I shall spare you here :)

- Work. Work kept me really busy. Other smaller projects got completed. Some other major projects still in the works. This is why, I am so exhausted this month. But it’s okay, because I know that satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment will be attained when everything is finished :)

- FP and I set up a joint savings account. This was something that we had wanted to do for the longest time. And since our careers have stablilized and we have our own individual savings, we figured it’s high time to set up a fund for our future. It’s really nice to build something together with him. It’s truly a significant event for me – this setting up of our joint account. ;)

- And finally, today FP and I celebrate our 6th year anniversary. 6 amazing years and still counting. We’ve grown together as a couple and individually as persons. Seen each other through schooldays to our current careers. Been through hell and back – we almost lost each other, but in the end of the day we managed to stitch it back together good as new. Believe it or not, we are even closer now and much more stronger than ever before. I love you, FP. If I have to go through hell and back again to find the happiness that we have right now, I would. Can’t wait for forever to begin for us, xoxo.

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I am truly glad April is now over. Hopefully May will be a less stressful and exhausting month. Maybe it is just me who needs to look after myself in a more effective way :(

FP’s Birthday Cake

Today is FP’s birthday :)

And this was his birthday cake:

cake

Would you believe it, if I told you I baked it from scratch (with hardly any help)? FP certainly didn’t believe me. He thought I used one of those ready made cake mixes. But I most certainly didn’t!

I didn’t plan to bake anything at all (especially since I have no experience baking cakes). My first instinct was to get customized Photography themed cupcakes from.. (should I even mention them here?) an online site which featured many interesting and pretty cupcakes. But alas, they didn’t respond to my enquiry and I was quite ticked off by that because I really wanted those Photography themed cupcakes for FP.

Cake BatterMy yummy looking cake batter.

First of all, I hate relying on others. Secondly, I will always end up doing things on my own when relying on others doesn’t work out.

So, I decided to go against all sense of logic and bake him a cake. I’ve never baked a cake before, the only time I had experience baking was when I helped out making cookies. Cookies, not cakes. So, I basically jumped off a cliff, not knowing what I’d land on.

Did some research. Found a plain chocolate cake recipe and decided to make it my own. I added strawberries and chocolate chips inside the cake, covered it with chocolate fudge and filled the top surface with soft, yummy marshmallows! :D

sliced cakeA slice of the cake

Afterthoughts:
Like every other project, there were lessons to be learned. The recipe didn’t have things like fresh strawberries and chocolate chips, so obviously the temperature and time for baking was not suited for my improvised yet fantastically creative version.

I didn’t factor in the possibility that the strawberries will cause moisture within the cake, thereby making it much longer for the cake to “dry up” and become perfectly baked. So there I was panicking, as to why the cake was still moist after the hour was up. And even way beyond that. I was worried that the cake might be burned. Or the cake might sink to the bottom.

Did a little more research and discovered that most recipes with fresh strawberries were baked at a higher temperature. So, I did just that and sure enough – it dried up soon after. :)

And for a complete newbie to baking cakes, I think i did fairly well! This has given me the motivation to explore baking at a greater extent, hehe. Truth be told, I actually concocted some muffins (using the same base recipe with slight changes) right after I finished making my first masterpiece, but that’s for another post.

I’m just glad everything turned out so perfectly well, yummy and pretty. Most of all, I’m so happy that my darling Frog Prince got his cake and ate it too! Happy birthday again, FP!! Much, much love :)

p/s: who needs silly cupcakes when we can all have a proper cake? :P

cake and boy